Nerd , redefined
by Carolyn Low Chai Foong

The Star, 25 September 2011

 

NERD: an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a non-social hobby or pursuit. I love books. They're my best friends. In fact, once upon a time, the only boyfriends I had were Harry Potter and Edward Cullen, if you know what I mean. I have to say that I am perfectly content with how my life is but I'd be lying if l said that the little dreamer deep within me didn't yearn for some TLC. I'd be lying if I said I never dreamt of Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet. I'd also be lying if I said I liked being alone.

Growing up as an introvert is not the greatest thing. I rarely ventured outside my comfort zone and prefered the companionship of books to people. But yes, reading does have disadvantages. I waited for a long time for that one person to complete me. For that fabled soulmate to make me feel on the top of the world. It wasn't until I was older that I learnt there is no such thing.

My first day of secondary school was awkward. Stepping onto unfamiliar territory is not my forte. Too bad the back door of the classroom was locked or I would have sneaked in from behind. No such luck.

So l entered from the front with as much bravura as I could muster, which wasn't much considering how I shuffled along the walls and tried not to be noticed.

I touched down safely at the very end of the classroom and tried to look busy, ignoring the stares my new classmates were giving me. A guy at the same table didn't stare but the look in his eyes showed that he understood how horrible being in my shoes was.

I cannot remember the first words we exchanged but I was glad we did because we became close friends in our remaining two years of school. It turned out he was the smartest guy in class. And I didn't mind it at all because now, we love reading.

Then we went our separate ways and I thought I'd never find a companion like him again. I went about my days keeping to light conversations with acquaintances, and limited them strictly to topics related to college.

I thought that in a lifetime there was only one person who could understand you, only one person who knows you better than yourself I was prepared to be in my own world.

But the forces that govern life decided to take things into their hands and pulled the rug from under my feet. I fell hard but have no regrets whatsoever for getting a sore bum.

I met a stranger whom I never knew would become my best friend. She astounded me because we are so alike, despite her being my senior. We became joined at the hips, like sisters.

However, just as fleetingly, she completed her two years at college (with a perfect CCPA) and is currently studying at the University of Michigan in America. Thus is the reality of life. I feel there are many people who can complement us. They come and go; there is no denying that what you love the most, you cannot keep.

Friendship is like flying a kite. You have to let it soar high up in the air. If you hold the thread too tightly, it will crash to the ground. Although your kite may seem small and distant from afar, you know it's there in the sky because you're connected to it by that thread. And you're comforted because wherever the kite goes, it will return to you.

To date, my secondary school friend is the only one who dares call me a nerd to my face and every once in a while, l try to prove him wrong. My college mate has shown me how much more a person can be beyond the books we study and l hope to follow in her footstep as I prepare to transfer to the United States next year. l appreciate people who make someone smile, who take the time to know someone, who accept someone without judging her. They are no Mother Teresa or Oprah Winfrey, but in their own way, they help make the world a better place by bringing hope to those who are alone.

And to those who are discouraged, and feel useless and ever so small, I wish to say this: "You are someone. Just believe and you will be." This piece goes out to my two most awesome kindred spirits — you know who you are. Thanks for being worthy friends and teaching me that you are more than what people say you are. l know this sounds totally clichéd but l am who I am today because of your friendship and gentle guidance.

Nerd: just another noun that fails to take into account the person as a whole. .